From Not-Co-Sleeping to Co-Sleeping

B.C. (Before Child), we enjoyed our beauty sleep on a beautiful mattress which was the most expensive furniture in our house.

A.C. (After Child), things change dramatically...

When Pei Pei just arrived, we put her cot next to me. As I am a super light sleeper, I jumped out of the bed with every single soft sound she made. Together with the fatigue and anxiety as a first-time mother, I developed an intense pain in my chest. So we decided to put her in another room.

We did not use baby monitor. As I said, I am a super light sleeper, and am a good detector for baby's cry. Somehow, we took turn to go over to Pei Pei's room whenever she woke up and cried in the middle of the night. 

Why didn't you bring her to your bed?

I hear your question. Somehow, we were afraid that we would cause injury to her if she slept with us.  

Hao Hao arrived in the following year. 

As Pei Pei stayed with her grandparents on weekdays, Hao Hao slept in his own room. Same thing happened, we took turn to go over to his room whenever he woke up and cried in the middle of the night.

On weekends when Pei Pei came home, then we moved Hao Hao's cot into our room. By then I had overcome the "heart attack" made by baby's sound.

I couldn't recall what exactly happened, but we decided that it was time for each of them to have their own room. You may have guessed correctly, this was what happened at night. 

This is considered as normal. There were times when I slept in Hao Hao's room, then suddenly went over to Pei Pei's room when she cried, then I went back to Hao Hao's room when it was his turn to cry, then... I didn't know where on Earth I was in the middle of the night.

On abnormal day, we were so fortunate to land in our bed eventually.

Last year, we thought it would be a good idea to put them in the same room. So when one or both of them cried in the middle of the night, this happened.

One fine day, Hao Hao realised that he could actually come over to our room without being chased away - because of various reasons that I wrote in another post.

Do you remember the episode of haze during June last year? All of us slept in our room and switched on the air-conditioner. This saved the electricity and hence $$ by switching on only one air-conditioner. 

Suddenly one day, they insisted that they wanted to sleep in the living room. I really had no idea what was so attractive about sleeping in the living room! They abandoned their beds, and slept on their mattresses.

Recently, they insisted that they wanted to sleep in our room. So this is the current situation.

We know that it is just a passing phase. One day, they would ask for their own rooms, new beds, new mattress covers, and perhaps, some wall decorations with their favourite characters.

I shall savour this moment. 

Look like it is a perfect situation?

Not really, sometimes.

When DaDi has to work on some nights, it stages the N-th world war.

I hear some questions (and perhaps some exclamations) from you again.

Q: Wah, according to your floor plan, your house is so big / small!
A: The floor plan is not drawn to scale.

Q: Does DaDi wear spectacles when he is sleeping?
A: Yes, sometimes. He wants to take a 5-minute-nap, and ends up k.o. for 5 hours.

Q: How come two of you shiver when you sleep with your children in their rooms / living room? You could have bought mattresses!
A: We believed that we would end up on our bed eventually.

Q: You have not read "so-and-so-guide-for-sleeping-training-your-baby"? What you have done are not according to those guides!
A:  We believe that they would fall asleep without our presence one day. Definitely not one day before Pei Pei's wedding / Hao Hao's enlistment into NS.

In fact, I have successfully sleep-trained myself recently. I can sleep soundly even when they cry!

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Sleepless in Singapore

Just before the clock strikes 12 midnight, while Cinderella is on her way home from the party, Hao Hao is on his way to DaDi and MaMi's room from the kids' bedroom.

He would sit at the corner of the bed quietly for a few seconds before he made his announcement of his grand arrival. Sometimes, MaMi the Light Sleeper would wake up before the announcement is made, pushes DaDi to one edge of the bed while rolling to the opposite edge of the bed, making a space of  half of the bed for Hao Hao to perform his signature "starfish" sleep pattern.

After a few minutes, on good days, DaDi would carry Hao Hao back to the kids' room without waking him up. On bad days, which account for 90% of the nights, Hao Hao would chase DaDi out of the room.

That doesn't mean MaMi has a luxury of sharing the bed with the smaller man. Those are bad days, remember?

Another few minutes later, MaMi would smell a foot, or would have 1 kg "scarf" on her neck.

Then another few minutes later, MaMi would suffer from a sore cheek or panda eye.

Let's investigate the root cause of this problem.

We DaDi tried "Cry-it-out" method to sleep train Hao Hao when he turned 3-month-old (MaMi did not have the heart to conduct the training). Unfortunately, DaDi gave up after a few nights. The persistent Hao Hao had no interest in pacifier and would stop crying until he was nursed by MaMi. Usually Hao Hao would stay in our bed after his supper, as we were too tired to bring him back to his cot.

Ever since Hao Hao was upgraded to sleep in toddler's bed, he would go over to DaDi and MaMi's room whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night.

Not that we are pampering him. The practical reason for giving in to Hao Hao is, we do not want his cries to wake his sister Pei Pei up, as her cries would wake the whole housing estate up!

I once asked Hao Hao why he wants to sleep in our room, he replied, "Because I like you ah." That is another reason why I give in to him.

This explains Hao Hao's habit.  

While many parenting books recommend various methods to sleep train children, and some comment on the cons of co-sleeping, I feel that we should not just follow the books without flexibility.

Well, while we still have sleepless nights ahead, I am sure that Hao Hao would not sleep with us the night before his National Service enlistment!